Too Many Phone Numbers - November 2002

President’s Column November 2002

Too Many Phone Numbers
Michael Collins
President’s Column
November 2002

Do I have too many phone lines or am suffering from premature senility? That's what I ask myself when I can't remember all my phone numbers. I have three main numbers,  a home number, a number for my wife's Cell phone, my Cell phone, a Fax number, Internet Dial-up numbers and a coupe of other numbers that are left over from a previous business venture, which doesn't  ever ring because there is no phone device connected to them.

Recently I attached a phone to one of these unused lines, but I'd forgotten what its phone number was.  Here in California you used to be able to dial a number like 211-1111 and a pleasant voice would tell you the number you were calling from. This was an absolute necessity for ever-connected Californians who have rows of phone jacks indistinguishable from each another.   But for some reason this number no longer works. It's probably one of the phone company’s endless cost cutting measures which I imagine will culminate in them simply shutting off everyone's phone service while they still continue to send bills.

So I pressed O for the operator, waited on hold, then and asked, "What number am I calling from?"  The operator replied, "I can't tell you."  I was confused, "So you don't know?" Sounding less human than a machine she replied, "I know, but I can't tell you."  "So, you can't tell me what number I'm calling you from, even though here I am calling from it?" I asked in disbelief.  "I can't access your records so I can't prove you are who you say you are." She intoned, even though I hadn't even said who I was.  "I see," I sighed, sort of seeing. I could imagine someone tapping into a phone junction box and trying to steal someone else's phone line but not knowing what number it was, should one of their criminal friends want to call them. "So how do I find this information?"  "I can't tell you that." She replied, as if I had asked for the President's nuclear codes and not my own telephone number.

I was struck dumb.  I remember operators when I was younger and you could ask them anything—how long to cook a turkey on Thanksgiving, where to find a podiatrist—anything.  If they didn't know they'd ask around and call you back. That's what I called service. Now I couldn't get one to reveal how to find out my own phone number.   Perhaps because the pause was uncomfortable she volunteered "You could call the billing office."  "What's their number?" I ask, stupidly expecting an answer.  "I can't tell you.  And they're closed right now," she answered.

If you're like me, you're amazed to see just how bad customer service is. In the United States, corporations seem to over-promise and under-deliver.  Amazingly, most companies just don't get it and continue to give bad service. Then, when the customer makes a complaint, they do an even poorer job of handling that. Many times they won't even apologize.  I suspect if you're getting bad service, so are others.  What can we do about it?  Should we complain?  If so, why?  The answers are simple.  Yes we should complain because it’s good to let businesses know that you are upset with them and it will help to lower your stress level.  Your satisfaction is important. If a company has done you wrong (or right), they need to know. Don’t let them get away with bad customer service.  Some universal consumer complaints exist: unanswered e-mails (auto responses do not count); incompetent or unhelpful customer service representatives; and endless interactive voice response choices with no option to speak with a real person are just a few.  Providing excellent customer service is an essential part of doing business today and is crucial to retaining customers and creating loyalty. If your company is looking for a way to increase revenues or is losing customers, you may want to review your customer service practices as a start.

By this time one of my employees came in wondering why I was making "exasperated noises." I said, "Do you know the phone number of our old electronic repair line?" He replied, "Of course, it's..." and proceeded to tell me. 

He was right as always. Though I have to say I felt a little uncomfortable that he would have dared to speak the number out loud. Hopefully no one from the phone company was listening. Well, that's a pretty safe bet.

Michael Collins